Ilana’s Christmas Party Commandments

Posted on December 14, 2012 by Ilana • 2 Comments

 

Thou shalt wear goofy sweaters . . . if thou can stand the teasing.

When you are a guest in someone’s home, especially around the holidays, it’s important to act appropriately. Which is why I’m sure you’re all relieved to see the following Christmas party “commandments.” They briefly show what to do–and not do–to avoid those awkward moments.

Oh, and this list isn’t really specific to Christmas parties. Feel free to adapt it to all your holiday merry-making needs. :-)

The ten sacred Christmas party commandments

  1. Thou shalt bring a non-tacky hostess gift.
  2. Thou shalt not pinch the cheeks of babies, and verily maketh them weep.
  3. Thou shalt not hog the eggnog.
  4. Thou shalt not complain to other guests about thy minor and icky health problems.
  5. Thou shalt not hit on marrieds. Thou shalt hit on NO ONE except thine own spouse if thou art the married one. This commandment also apply-eth to those in serious relationships.
  6. Thou shalt not park thyself beneath the mistletoe with lips puckered, acting creepy.
  7. Thou shalt leave when it is asked of thee, or when hosts are beginning to yawn.
  8. Thou shalt not ask any children in attendance “how is school?” During holiday breaks, thou art forbidden from reminding them there is such a thing as “school.”
  9. Thou shalt be a source of merriment and good cheer to all whom thy encounter.
  10. Thou shalt not piddle in the pool.

What are your Christmas/holiday party commandments? Tell me in the comments!

(Top image by Daa Nell)
2 Comments. Add yours?
  • Tonja Drecker

    I’d be the FIRST to wear a sweater like that. With a pair of those awful holiday earings. Oh, yes!
    Love your commandments. If we had eggnog over here, I’d have a problem with that one ;)
    Oh, and another Christmas holiday visit important thing – HUGE sin if you forget this one – every kid needs a present from you (underwear and socks don’t count.)

    • http://twitter.com/ilanawaters ilanawaters

      Ha-ha–me too, Tonja. As I’ve always said, “If lovin’ appliques is wrong, I don’t wanna be right!” ;-P And how can you not have eggnog across the pond? This must be remedied at ONCE!! Finally, thanks for your last commandment–it’s a good one. :-)