Enjoy your holiday . . . with relish! 
It’s Halloween today–woot! Ah, Halloween. The only holiday that combines costumes with mischief, candy, and . . . more candy! Plus, I’ve been wanting to use a picture of a dachshund in a hot dog bun for ages now. Seriously, if I had to wait one more week, I think I would’ve burst. >.<
I know for some of you on the East coast of the U.S. (like myself), it may be a very soggy Halloween. But all is not lost. If you can’t go out trick-or-treating, at least you can stay home and eat the candy you were gonna give to other trick-or-treaters! Just sit on the living room floor, surrounded by wrappers, and have at it.
Anyway, I’m assuming most of you are secured against Hurricane Sandy (or at least took precautionary measures). As such, here are some of my tips for a super-safe Halloween.
Ilana’s Halloween Safety Tips
Keep all black cats (and dogs) inside. Sad to say, but there are evil, freaky people out there who look to harm dark-hued animals around this holiday. Personally, I hope their superstitiousness boomerangs on them. May they fall off a ladder they accidentally walked under after breaking a mirror on Friday the 13th.
Don’t feed your furry friend chocolate. I know you’ve probably heard this before, but it bears repeating: the theo-bromine in chocolate can sicken or kill your critter. And non-chocolate candy is no good either. If possible, store all human treats in an air-tight container on a high, locked shelf. Trust me–if you have a Jack Russell, you already know they do not need a sugar rush.
Minimize the odds that your house will be toilet papered or egged by handing out awesome candy. If you were naughty in this regard last year (and yes, the Great Pumpkin* is watching), now is the time to redeem yourself. Do not hand out apples, toothbrushes, or toothpaste. In fact, do not hand out anything even vaguely health-related. If you can afford it, dispense candy bars the size of your forearm. Let the little nippers’ parents worry about the dental bills.
Oh, and if a Freddy Kruger look-alike rings your bell, do not give him candy. Slam the door in his face and run screaming back into the house. It’s probably just someone in a really good costume, but hey . . . you can’t be sure.
Got any other Halloween safety tips?
What about you, dear readers? Got any good Halloween safety tips, real or imagined? Let me know in the comments. And have a great Halloween! 
*Is it just me, or is “It’s the Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown” like a Halloween cartoon version of “Waiting for Godot?”
(Top image by istolethetv)